The thing is Godde when I speak to you I find that I’m pretty incoherent. No fancy phrases, or lucid lines as if I’m not even sure what I’m doing. It’s as though, without wanting to be rude that I’m talking to myself, you being completely silent and all. About then I worry that you […]
Oh Godde, my mum is dying
Oh, Godde, whatever you are and I don’t know; my mum is dying. Maturity disappeared in one phone call when she said, I have something to tell you. No! I’m not ready. Too many memories of being held hurt soothed and pain kissed away. Now, it’s my turn to wrap her suffering in the space […]
Out of the blue God
Can you close the curtain? Sure. We call them the blue soundproof ones. Yeah, nah, not, it’s an illusion. (He laughs) So, what does God look like for you today? See that blue? Yeah. It’s like the sky and the sea. So, God comes to you out of the blue? Far out! I thought of […]
Secrets, God and broken glass
Everyone carries secrets. Not necessarily the kind that titillate, but the ordinary, everyday ones that rise to trouble us like a recurring virus. The pain of regret, of knowing that our lives are not perfect, not even close but sometimes a chaotic mix of halfway rational choices and haphazard mistakes. Knowing that this life may […]
on rainbows, chaos, Prof Dawkins and the tail end of an elephant
like rainbows that never reach the pot of gold there’s a kind of beauty in the unrealised the unfinished, the chaotic omnipotent god (the one Prof Dawkins fights with good on him but it’s limited, like only seeing an elephant from the tail end) as I was saying, omnipotent god might feel frustrated in that […]
Absent God
Absent God missing in action, always guardian of open space blankness in my life. Sad? Perhaps but more than this the blankness is for me a symbol of what God might be rather than what God is not. There’s never been a time, God when I’ve felt your presence the kind of presence, people talk […]
Unmixed attention: the lifeblood of professional spiritual care
The conversation had rippled and sparkled. My doctor friend and I juggled theological ideas as they tumbled out and into the space between us. But as he got up to leave my heart sank. ‘Oh no’, I thought, ‘after all that he’s going to say he’ll pray for me.’ I’m ultra sensitive, you could say […]
Hospital Chaplains too Christian for Nones?
She sat beside the bed, tears brimming. ‘Mum’s dying.’ ‘Yes.’ We sat in silence for a bit. ‘I’ve lost my faith.’ ‘Uh huh.’ ‘When my friend died.’ ‘Mm.’ We held hands and Mum’s too, wondering in our own ways, about God and faith and people dying and what the universe meant, if anything. As we […]
Supping Sam Hunt Sober
Last time I saw Sam Hunt perform I was drunk in a pub in Wellington. We all were, him too most likely. It was what you did at those gigs where poetry and plonk were like riding a bicycle for two. As he says, we all had pain to be soothed. Decades later I wondered […]
on rape, stagnant pools and echoes in the void
no matter how much we protest about rape (haven’t women been experiencing this forever, remember Dinah in Genesis and when we thought our marching might take back the night) no matter how many rape laws are drafted, enacted people imprisoned, diagnosed, decried somewhere deep within culture, psyche, being, (I throw these terms around because we […]